Looking for love in all the wrong places? Feel free to read this blog post for unsolicited and free advice on how to find your true love.
My 8 year old nephew, Ben, is a hopeless romantic, I think. He struck up the following conversation with me on our drive to my house this weekend. We were at a rest stop letting my dog, Lucy, use the restroom. Ben saw a man with his two dogs (but didn’t see the other man with him). When we got back in the car, Ben told me that I should have asked that man out.
Me: He already has a boyfriend, Ben.
Ben: What?! Boys can love boys?
Me: Yes. Just like girls can love girls. It doesn’t matter.
Ben: No. True love is true love.
Me: Yes, it is. What brought this conversation on?
Ben: Well, you know how you have said that you are open to love?
Me: Yes, that is my saying on my board at home. You remember reading that at Thanksgiving? I can’t believe you remember. That’s so sweet.
Ben: Well, yeah! It’s important! I want you to find your true love.
Ben: I also want that because I want an uncle and I want to know what that’s like. And I want cousins. I’m so bored being by myself. So, we gotta get a move on it, woman! Ha ha!
Me: Oh geez Louise. So, this is about you, huh?
Ben: Well, yeah. Kinda. But, I’m your guide to true love. You will be walking your dog one day and you’ll see your true love and you have to stop him and say, “Hi, I’m Megan.” Do you think you can do that?
Me: (chuckling) I think I can manage that.
Ben: (serious) Ok. Good. Because you’ll have to keep the conversation going and that’s a good way to start.
Me: How do you know all of this stuff?
Ben: (blushing) Well, I got like 5 girlfriends. Duh.
Me: How’s that possible?!
Ben: I just say, “Hi, my name’s Ben. What’s yours?” Then, I help them carry things and I wink at them.
Ben: And you need someone now to help you carry things and wink at you. It’s important.
Me: Yes. It is. And, how will I recognize my true love?
Ben: He will be Russian. Well, he will look Russian or even Japanese and he’ll teach me how to speak Russian and Japanese. He will have blonde hair and he will be really nice. He is silly too.
Me: How can he be Japanese and have blonde hair?
Ben: Well, he will have brown or black hair, but he will be able to speak Russian or Japanese. He may be American or European (pronounced Yer-a-pen).
Me: (chuckling). European, Ben. Like Yer-a-pee-in. And will he be kind?
Ben: Really tall!
Ben: Oh yeah! He’ll be good-looking, too. And he’ll teach me how to hunt with a 450 pound bow. He’s a hunter and he’ll let me shoot with a rifle or a b.b. gun. And he’ll teach me how to box. Because it’s important that a guy knows how to box. But, not in a UFC or a mega-Chinese wrestler way.
Me: Sounds like you’re in love with this guy. Are you sure I will be, too?
Ben: Well, duh! Yeah! He’s your true love!
Me: What’s his name?
Ben: Ryan. Or maybe Corbin. Or maybe Matt. Or Jack. Hank is a good name, too.
Me: All good names.
Ben: And, Meeda, you’ll meet him very soon. Trust me. If not this year, then next year. (laughter) Get it? Next year is pretty soon. So, don’t worry. That won’t be too long at all.
Me: (laughing and a bit nervous. What if his prediction comes true? Will I owe the meeting of my true love to my nephew?)
Ben: Oh, and Meeda! He will have 2 cats, and a dog!
Me: Any kids?
Me: He will have kids, or we will have kids?
Me: What if we adopted kids?
Ben: That would be better so your stomach wouldn’t hurt every single day and night. Then, I’d have cousins right away. But, you would have to buy them first.
Me: You don’t buy kids. You adopt them from orphanages or foster homes. You welcome those kids into your family because they don’t have a family.
Ben: (shakes head affirmatively)
Me: What is true love to you?
Ben: It is, um, love and. . .and. . .(embarrassed laughter)
Me: Kissing and stuff?
Ben: (blushing) Sure. Whatever.
Me: Isn’t it more than just that, though?
Ben: Yeah. It’s when you meet your true love, help him, and wink at him. And you’re friends. You’re in a relationship and you’re best friends. You play together. You have fun together. Friendship is all kinds of stuff. It’s a good thing.
Me: Well, I feel like it is time for me to get a true love if it is as great as you make it out to be.
Ben: It really is. And, I’m your guide to true love, remember.