6 a.m. – 8:30 a.m.  Home. Dog walked?  Check.  Cats and dog fed?  Check.  Morning coffee brewed?  Check.  Nutella spread on toast?  Check.  Book, comfy chair, toast with Nutella and mug of hot coffee?  Check. Check. Check.And check.  Bag packed, car loaded, yoga mat in back?  Check.  Check. And Check.  Ahhh…what a beautiful day!!!!

9:00 a.m. Interstate 44 West.  St. Louis. On my way to a yoga workshop with Saul David Raye, a well known healer and yoga instructor.  Pulled over for a speeding ticket for driving 71 in a 55 zone.

Yikes.  Thank you sir, I didn’t mean to do that.  I will pay more attention.  No sir, I haven’t had any recent tickets.  Yes sir, I will hand over my license and registration.  OK sir.  I will pay that right away.  Oh, I have to possibly go to court?  Am I in some serious trouble?  No?  Oh, there’s a website where I can possibly pay it on line.  Yes sir, I will check that out.  You too, sir.

9:35 a.m.  Yoga Workshop at Webster University – Sunnen Lounge. Hopping over yoga mats, and a few people, I find myself situated in a spot facing in an awkward direction because I have to squeeze in between 3 people and a table.  I begin the exercises everyone else is already doing.  The teacher is speaking in a calm voice.  I am not calm, but I pretend to be.

9:45 a.m. Damn’t.  I have to pee.  No, no I don’t.  I’m just imagining it.  Well, I did drink a lot of coffee this morning.  No, focus, Megan.  Focus.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Oh, twist.  Oh  yeah, there’s my bladder.  Yep, I have to pee.

9:55 a.m. (In a hushed tone)  Sorry.  Excuse me.  Oops.  Sorry.  Excuse me.  (Skipping out of door and rushing to the restroom.)

10:00 a.m. At the entrance of the yoga lounge.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Walk inside quietly.  (In a hushed tone) Sorry.  Excuse me.  Oops.  Sorry.  Excuse me.

10:00 a.m. – 11:45 a.m. Finally in a yoga groove.

11:45 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.  Meditation and Chanting. Meditation.  Yes, finally I’m calm.  Well, not really, I mean, I did get a speeding ticket.  No worries.  Well, wonder if I’m supposed to be thinking of something lovely and beautiful and peaceful.  I don’t feel that way right now.  Oh man, my jaw is clenched.  Yeah, loosen my jaw.  Ok, now I’m back.  What did he say?  Oh yeah……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Wow!  I went really long without having a thought stick in my mind.  Oh crap.  I’m thinking again.  Isn’t that how it always goes?  Enough with the chit chat, get back to the breath.  Oooh.  I think someone farted.

Oh, huh.  We’re chanting in Sanskrit.  OK, I’ll pretend I know what he’s saying.  Cool he’s translating.  Yes, my body and mind is a temple…………

12:05 p.m.  – 1:05 p.m.  Lunch Break.  No one here that I know.  I guess I’ll walk downtown and grab a bite to eat.  Glad I brought my book.  Man, it is a longer walk than I thought.  And it’s hot outside.  Ugh.  I’m sweating, and now I’m really hungry.  Hmmm.  I don’t mind eating by myself, but I seem to do this a lot.  Oh shit.  Now I’m depressed.

1:05 p.m.  My car. Should I go back for the afternoon session?  I’ll write “yes” on this paper and “no” on this paper and mix them up and let fate decide for me.  Close my eyes.  Don’t peak.  Whatever you’re supposed to do, the paper will reveal.  “No.”  Yeah, that’s what I was going to pick anyway.

1:15 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.  I-44 East and connection to I-64 East. OK.  Check speedometer.  I’m driving the speed limit.  Damn construction.  Huh?  Now what will I do with myself today?  I already ate by myself, guess whatever I do today will be by myself as well.  I could go shopping.  No.  I could go out and take photos.  No.  Well, maybe I’ll do that. Where would I go, though?  And, if I do decide, I probably will be by myself.   Oh crap.  I’m crying.  I”m sad.  I’m lonely.  I’m bored.

2:30 p.m.  to present.  Home. Shower.  Straighten hair.  Get dressed in a cute, sporty outfit.  Now what?  Watch TV.  Eat chips and salsa.  Watch TV.  Read.  Walk dog.  Check facebook.  Write blog.  Bored.  Oh shit!  What have I done with my day?


6 thoughts on “#$*%^#)%(#^@”

  1. We’ve all had days like that . . . . although I’ve never had a ticket . . . . go out and buy yourself something nice you’ve been wanting!!! You deserve it!!!

    1. Never say “Never” Aunt Jane. They gave you a bionic knee, remember. Last time I studied anatomy, your tendons are attached to it, which in turn your tendons are attached to your foot…:-)

  2. Meg, I know it’s not much consolation, but I’ve had worse days than that. Lived through the horrible 2 years of John and Sarah ordeal. That almost drove me over the edge. Keep on keeping on!

  3. Oh, I so have days like this!!! Ethan’s awake and crying…Ok, check diaper…wet…change diaper ..check…ok still crying….hungry?….make bottle …try and feed Ethan…nope ..not hungry…still crying…rock and talk in soothing voice and kiss and hold Ethan…still crying……. Oh Mommy is soooo tired….what do you need little baby?…….BURP….no crying….That’s it…you just needed to burp!!! LOL I can so get how you try and have calm peaceful thoughts and all these other thoughts creep in your head!!! This was sooooo funny! I got a really GREAT laugh from your blog today! THANK YOU for putting a smile and a laugh in my heart!!
    Love ya,

    1. Yeah, insert Fred Flinstone’s “Racka-Fracka-Schmacka” frustrations in this blog, and you got my day. Well, many days that most of us have (and will have) on and off through the years. Thanks for reading, Allison. Glad I could put a smile on your face! Love ya.

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